Tali
This is a tale of a tail: mine. Actually, it mainly features the rest of me as attached to the tail, a rather streamlined, sleek hound disguised by a great deal of fluff . I have a rather fine and bushy tail and I love to chase it, that darn annoying, elusive appendage.
Keeping Tali is also about other tails – and the dogs attached, and the owners attached to them. It is about what we all get up to and where and why and who with. Basically keeping tally on Keeping Tali. Pack leader, Alpha Female, referred to and known by me as Mummy, may also include some related and some random thoughts and comments. She will try hard not to ‘go on’, she’s good at that, or bad at that if you like, or don’t like. It’s her first proper attempt at this blogging lark.
Quick scene setter: I am a male, tricolour, rough collie born in May 2017, so aged eight months. Tali is short for Taliesin, more on that later. I was born in Dorset, but have lived in Whitstable since I was nine-weeks-old with Alpha Female Mummy, from now on to be known as AFM, Chris (older male human or OMH) and Robin (younger male human or YMH). Then there is also Adam (Not-quite-as-young-as-his-brother-Robin male human NQYMH). He has been away a lot since I was quite little. I know all my humans names and get most excited if any one of them is not home and one of the others says “Where’s Chris/Robin/Mummy/Adam.” Run to the door, stop, look listen. Where are they? Where are they?
Then there is also Minkey. Ah, Minkey! Minkey is notable by the thundering noises that come from Upstairs. That Minkey, he is a cat. I’ve seen that cat. He is an extremely small, insignificant and annoying creature. How can he make so much noise running about. BANG, THUNDER, WALLOP, BANG, THUNDER, WALLOP, BANG, THUNDER WALLOP. Are your hands over your ears yet? He also shows off jumping from great heights, well from on top of the snake tank, Adam’s bunk bed etc etc Think CRASH, THUMP, the house shakes. Most offensive and traumatic to my finely tuned canine sensory perception. When Minkey runs, think Ride of the Valkyries. I used to bark at this worrying phenomenon. A lot. My canine intuition indicated that hoardes of alien, dog-hating invaders were imminently to descend and bite, or even annihilate all of us. Or, far worse than that, steal my food and toys! Even when That Minkey is just tiptoeing upstairs, I pick up doggy Armageddon vibes. So of course I bark, I am a one beast early warning system. And Proud. Well, I used to bark a lot about Minkey. AFM and the others used to talk strictly to me about that barking. Sometimes AFM waved a small red can, making a sharp, offensive hissing noise, and saying harshly “hush”. Obviously a giant reptile was about to jump on this virtuous young collie and his pack. With hideous red can and hissing a priority threat, I know when to be quiet. Anyway, That Minkey is boring. Doesn’t play with me, not going to encourage him by wasting so much of my barking on him. The red can in AFM’s hand, its horrid hiss and her stern voice are obviously to be heeded ahead of alien invaders, as yet invisible, if loud. Foolish humans, they need to watch their backs, my best efforts are sometimes wasted on them. But don’t worry, there are many, many other phenomena I can and do warn them about. Loudly. Often. I will not give up on them. Loyal To Lassie is my mantra.
- Smug, snug cat Minkey.
AFM refers to Minkey as The Upstairs Cat, and to me as The Downstairs Dog. That’s Minkey’s choice. Not fair, he can go down and where he wants, but I can’t go up. There is an annoying gate at the bottom of the stairs. If those humans inadvertently, and inevitably fail to shut it properly, or even at all, from time to time, I’m through it and up the stairs (my turn for thunder paws, albeit briefly) and have snorted up the cat’s food before they can even get to the bottom stair. Then, I’m off to find That Minkey to see if he’ll play yet. Miserable spoilsport. He glowers. He makes a noise like this: AAARRRRHOWWWWW, MIAOOWWROROOOWWW, PSSSSSSPIT. PSSSSPITTTTTT. PSSSST. By this time, one of the humans will have caught up with me and it means I get picked up and carried down the stairs. I can get up them fast enough but they are jolly scary if you have four legs and are not that used to stairs. Anyway, why walk if you can get a lift. I rather like being carried, its cozy and the views are better. AFM grumbles a lot, she says I weigh more than 20 kilograms? Who is she to talk!
AFM says that Minkey and I should live in harmony, playing happily together, curling up for snoozes by the fire (if we had one), contentedly keeping each other company. It’s just That Minkey is such a party pooper. Dogs rule! But I would REALLY like to be his friend. AFM hasn’t given up and neither have I. Watch this space.
Keeping Tali 